How
did Ovaltine, makers of chocolate malty milk powder reputedly beloved of small
children who repeatedly demand it, become so popular by selling a product THAT
IS NOT SOLUBLE IN MILK? I put Ovaltine in the glass of milk, stir the thing
frantically for MINUTES like the spoon is attached to a MerCruiser until I
freakin' PRAY for carpal tunnel, and when I stop and remove the spoon I am
presented with a surface of congealed islands of milk-resistant Ovaltine slowly
swirling in the glass, and the sides of the glass looking like a windshield
after an encounter with a flock of diseased sea gulls.
Doesn't
matter if I put the Ovaltine in first, or after I pour the milk.
Doesn't
even matter if I've warmed the milk.
The
thing invariably ends up looking like Willy Wonka's septic tank.
I'm
sure it's drinkable if you're a baleen whale straining that sludge out of the
barely-flavored milk underneath, but otherwise it's like trying to drink
something they found at Pompeii.
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