Whoppelgänger

So for over twenty years -- almost as long as he's been well-known -- I've been told I look JUST LIKE this guy.

I remember the first time: After I'd moved to San Diego a acquaintance called me from Chicago and said "I'm looking at you right now on television."  I had no idea who she was talking about.

Starting about then, his newsmedia star began to rise.  It was back when people actually watched MS-NBC.

And people I knew and people I did not would come up to me and say man, you look just like  .  .  .  and usually they would have trouble coming up with the name.  After awhile I knew who they were talking about and I would help them out.  Yeah!  Yeah!  That's the guy.  You look JUST LIKE him!

I was once accosted by a woman in a saloon who refused to believe I was not this person and demanded that I show her my driver's license.

Even after all these years and all these pounds and all these square inches of visible scalp strangers still remark at the resemblance at least a dozen times a year. I can't see it, but then, I have a natural prejudice favoring my own uniqueness.

But here's my question:

Why, out of all the notable people in the world that I could look like, even out of all of the fibbing quasi-intellectual media/showbiz hypocritical elitists I could look like, do I end up looking like a guy WHO LIES ABOUT GETTING EXPLOSIVE BLOODY DIARRHEA WHILE CURLED UP IN THE FETAL POSITION DURING HIS COVERAGE OF THE GREATEST NATURAL DISASTER IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA?

 

 

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