The Cool Hot Center's List of Presidential Virtues (Revised)

Author
Not Bush
Black, or Blackish
U.S. Citizen
Over 35
Lived in the U.S. at Least 14 Years
Herald of a New Age of Bipartisanship
Handsome
Kinda Sexy, Actually
Charismatic
Eloquent
Articulate
President of Harvard Law Review
Extremely Smart
Athletic
Valuable Community Organizing Background
Humorous
Open, Media-Accessible Administration
Not Republican
Not Really a Socialist, so Much
Family Man
Beautiful Family
Esteemed Abroad
Cannot Be Judged by Former Radical and Race-Baiting Associations
Healer
Youthful
Strong-Willed (Quit Smoking)
Non-Drinker